Another sleepless night
Its almost one o'clock in the morning, tossing and turning, and unable to sleep, I roll over and I can't help but look over on my nightable and see pictures of those that I love more then anything in the world. Not a day goes by that I don't think of these people. Not a moment of time goes by where I don't want to make sure that they know they are all loved. So I slowly roll out of bed, and check on two of them, my children, seeing them asleep in their beds, peacefully. I make sure that they are totally covered up, and then kiss them on the foreheads, and telling them I love them, before quietly stepping out of their room.
I head down the stairs and into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, and then grab a blanket and step onto the deck. Its cold outside, and my breath is leaving my body in a small cloud of steam. I look up in the sky and see the shimmering lights of the stars, and the moons illumination of the surrounding area, which brings a smile to my face. As again, I find myself thinking about those that I love. I think of my family and what they are doing right now, and pray that they are all doing ok, and will make it through all their dilemmas and circumstances. I then get this overpowering feeling of warmth, almost as if I have arms wrapped around me. I close my eyes, and I can see KDI standing right there on the deck with me, arms wrapped around me. The two of us looking up at the moon, and loving every moment we have with each other, and blessed that we are so close to each other. Reading each others minds, to the point where we can feel how the other one feels before they even do. We are always conscious of how the other might feel, and how to make them feel better. How just the simple gesture of arms wrapped around you make you feel whole. I see him holding my hand during the difficult times, calming me down during those really hard and challenging times, and then making me laugh when ever I am down. I can see him wiping my tears away, and never letting me feel alone. I can see him and I fifty years down the road, still happy, and just as much in love. He understands me, my need to have the emotional connection with someone , he accepts me for me, no matter how strange and bizarre it may seem. He knows that life isn't about what you leave behind when you die, but who, and how much that you loved them.
As a tear rolls down my cheek, I shake my head and think that this can't be possible, that this is my imagination playing tricks on me. That I just want this so bad, that I am making myself belief its true. So I look up in the sky and close my eyes again, and pray that I get to finally be with my true love soon. Again, I get this warm feeling that he is already right there. I finish my tea, and then step back into the house, and relock the door. I feel this intense aura telling me that we are safe, and that all is going to be ok. So I double check the locks on the doors and then place my empty cup on the counter, and then sit on the couch, and grab my laptop, to type. He is there with me, I can feel him kiss my cheek, and tell me that everything is going to be ok, that he loves me. I feel his arms around me, and his body close to mine. So as I type this entry I smile to myself knowing that it must be true, cause I can feel him, I know that he cares, and I know how he feels. The same as I do.
I head down the stairs and into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, and then grab a blanket and step onto the deck. Its cold outside, and my breath is leaving my body in a small cloud of steam. I look up in the sky and see the shimmering lights of the stars, and the moons illumination of the surrounding area, which brings a smile to my face. As again, I find myself thinking about those that I love. I think of my family and what they are doing right now, and pray that they are all doing ok, and will make it through all their dilemmas and circumstances. I then get this overpowering feeling of warmth, almost as if I have arms wrapped around me. I close my eyes, and I can see KDI standing right there on the deck with me, arms wrapped around me. The two of us looking up at the moon, and loving every moment we have with each other, and blessed that we are so close to each other. Reading each others minds, to the point where we can feel how the other one feels before they even do. We are always conscious of how the other might feel, and how to make them feel better. How just the simple gesture of arms wrapped around you make you feel whole. I see him holding my hand during the difficult times, calming me down during those really hard and challenging times, and then making me laugh when ever I am down. I can see him wiping my tears away, and never letting me feel alone. I can see him and I fifty years down the road, still happy, and just as much in love. He understands me, my need to have the emotional connection with someone , he accepts me for me, no matter how strange and bizarre it may seem. He knows that life isn't about what you leave behind when you die, but who, and how much that you loved them.
As a tear rolls down my cheek, I shake my head and think that this can't be possible, that this is my imagination playing tricks on me. That I just want this so bad, that I am making myself belief its true. So I look up in the sky and close my eyes again, and pray that I get to finally be with my true love soon. Again, I get this warm feeling that he is already right there. I finish my tea, and then step back into the house, and relock the door. I feel this intense aura telling me that we are safe, and that all is going to be ok. So I double check the locks on the doors and then place my empty cup on the counter, and then sit on the couch, and grab my laptop, to type. He is there with me, I can feel him kiss my cheek, and tell me that everything is going to be ok, that he loves me. I feel his arms around me, and his body close to mine. So as I type this entry I smile to myself knowing that it must be true, cause I can feel him, I know that he cares, and I know how he feels. The same as I do.
posted by Pure and Simple at
12:23 AM
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