Family Tree

Today I sat down with my sister-in-law and a quest. We were trying to figure out how our current family all came to be. We started way way way back when our ancestors first came across the Ocean to North America.

Deeper research brought to light that we came from a land called OOMPALOOMPALAND. The country was so isolated, and so very far away that seldom has anyone heard of it. Even today it cannot be found on a western map. (If you don't believe me, look it up on Map Quest)

Apparently our people had to hide quite often, so we lived in really big tree houses. They were quite posh; they came with their very own tree. One day a strange man, a very nice man I am told, arrived on our family treestep and invited them all to move to North America. He seemed quite trustworthy, but little did the family know they were about to do something they could possibly regret. 12 couragous and adventuresome kinsmen joined the foreign man on a viking ship and set sail for America. It wasn't all easy sailing. Even the smallest member of the family had to bail buckets of water out of the ship twice an hour. Their arms were tired, but it actually helped some of them in their future careers. In America they became Carpenters and Accountants. Often individuals awoke onboard covered in a glowing green slime. Not knowing much about sea travel, they wiped it off and went on with their routines. After a good long journey of about 3 months on the water (according to history this felt like much longer for those with motion sickness) and about 2888.22 miles of land, they settled in a small city.When they arrived in North America the family realized that they had all grown much larger, except for two - Droopy and MaDroop. It was concluded that because they were smallest onboard, and were sleeping in drawers due to space constraints, they were the only ones who had not been contaminated by the mysterious green substance. Most of the family were actually happy to be bigger and able do a whole lot more, so were excited to follow the really nice man to his workshop. He had so much chocolate at his shop that he encouraged them to eat as much as they could. Some more than others thought that was really cool. As the years passed they all ate and ate and ate, working for the man who wanted to be known as WONKA DENT. For many years they were coming up with different kinds of sweets that they wanted others to try. The family became unhappy and very suspicious as Wonka Dent became a very rich man selling these candies. One day they all got really sick, so WONKA DENT had them sit in his chair and open wide. HIS procedures caused much pain to their mouths that they finally decided to leave. As they were about to, Wonka Dent said that if they did leave they would have to return every six months for the rest of their lives or become once again deathly ill. The family multiplied, and several generations later I am too scared to try and leave.Some of us tried many different job opportunities, and we all started to realize that being tall and like the others in this country is kind of a bad thing. However, Droopy and MaDroop thought that staying the same size was bad as well. I guess we learned that WONKA DENT was right because even now we and our offspring are being subject to that killer chair.Even today, as we sit here researching and typing up our Family tree (not to mention eating a Chocolate Bar and munching on some Runts and Nerds), we realize that OH NO, our time has come again to make an appointment in the KILLER CHAIR. NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!